What if you Don't Love Writing?

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What if Writing is a Struggle? 

Upfront confession of the week – I didn’t always love writing. I mean, it was always the thing I was best at, say compared to PE at school where I’d claim period cramps 90% of the time to avoid my bare feet making contact with those germ-encrusted rubber mats. I was an avid reader from an early age, but writing, and specifically writing 90,000 word novels, that was a slog, not unlike Mrs. O’Kelly’s PE class.

I struggled through my first two books and it was only with retrospect I realised why. Somewhere in my naïve head, I had an image of myself as the next Rosamunde Pilcher or Mary Wesley. If you’re not familiar with their writing, I'm jealous that you’re about to discover these phenomenal writers for the first time. You’re welcome!

But, back to me. I’d listen to author interviews where writers say things like, I’d die if I couldn’t write or writing is the only thing I know how to do or writing feeds my soul and I’d feel bad about myself because that just wasn’t me.

Writing definitely didn’t feed my soul but none the less I tapped out a book and managed to get a book deal. Here it is, Home to Cavendish, if you don’t believe me.

Then I wrote another book, which I enjoyed writing even less. That was the one I got the 75 rejections on but eventually I did get a deal, albeit a fairly crappy one… but that’s a story for another day.

This brings me to the first question you need to ask yourself:

Do you love writing or do you love the idea of being a writer?

Sadly, these are two very different things. Back in the day, I imagined myself at awards ceremonies and going on book tours, of my books being bought my Netflix or featuring on the Reece Witherspoon book club. In my defense, you can’t be a writer if you’re not a dreamer so at least I got that right.

Ask yourself, how does writing make you feel? If you’re planning a writing session, are you excited or filled with dread? During your writing session, do you get to a point where you lose yourself, where everything around you disappears and it’s just you, living in the story, your characters as real to you as the dog at your feet. (The last bit may just be me).

How to Fall in Love with Writing?

So what changed for me? How did I go from struggling through my first two novels, to jumping out of bed at 6am while writing The Win, (the manuscript for which I was offered representation by 3 agents and is now currently on submission) just so I’d get an hour of writing in before I started work? To steal a phrase from Colin Firth in The King’s Speech, I found my voice. (Sorry about all the movie quotes, you’ll get used to them).

The idea for The Win came to me and it felt real and right. There was no historical aspect to it as there had been to my previous novels. It was centered on a protagonist similar in age to me and from a similar background, and as I wrote, the main character and her family of sisters came to life. I knew them inside out, I felt I was part of their family. I still think about them regularly.

If you don’t feel like this, perhaps ask yourself if you need to change something? You have to write what you love, what makes you happy and dare I say it, what comes sort of easy to you. Of course, writing a novel is never easy but if it has become a constant slog to get those words down on the page, then perhaps something’s got to give.

And another thing, before I started writing The Win, I was 15,000 words into another novel that wasn’t in my voice. This time I was picturing myself as a Lianne Moriarty-type and perhaps Nicole would read the book and decide to adapt it for TV. I shelved it and that, my friends, takes balls. So, be brave, don’t be afraid to put something aside if it’s not working for you. Everyone deserves to love what they write.

Click the button below to sign up below for more tips to help improve your writing along with access to the Agent Query letter that won me three offers of agent representation.